A Journey Through Life...'s Blog

According to experts, my personality type is : World Leader Other people like me display these traits. They are good in bed They are gas station attendents They like jelly filled doughnuts They suffer from road rage Take the Ink Blot Personality Quiz at JokesUnlimited.com

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This is posted with the utmost respect.  Really. 

As a white woman with 3 black or biracial children and 2 out of 2 of my very best friends in the world being black, I am not a racist.  This is, however, an observation.  An observation that my friends confirm as true.

CPT = colored people time (what the older southern-raised people call it)

BPT = black people time (what my daughter and her generation call it)

These are the same thing.  I'm well aware of them.  I've experienced them before for example, waiting for my friend Terri.  I never have to wait for Ray though---something he is very proud b/c CPT has always driven him nuts.  But then there is a great amount of white blood coursing through his veins from generations far back plus he was raised in a predominantly white suburb and thus, is acculturated I guess.  He first taught me about CPT.

The graduation I went to Sat. night is a great example of CPT.  The invitation said dinner begins at 4.  A program begins at 6 and the open house portion at 7.  I get there fashionably late---4:30 and there is NO ONE there except the people setting up the food/tables, etc.  Oh yes, and 1 white family and a black family who are friends of Ray/suburban raised etc.  I shoudda known.  I call Ray and say 4 really means 5 doesn't it?  He laughs and tells me I shoudda known.

Well, the dinner (a marvelous affair by the way) began at 5:30.  I had 2 tired girls with me (ballpark all day) who were STARVED by that time.  Even so they maintained and ultimately the graduation was great---great food, great program and the kids slept well that night.

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What's with all the crap coming on this site?  Health info on yucky diseases?  OK maybe that isn't always crap but I don't come onto blog sites to read stuff like that, maybe some do.  Pharmaceutical sales?  Buying property in India?

Is it just me that thinks this is kind of a crazy venue for that sort of thing?

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I just gotta say, I'm pretty darn proud of myself.  Normally I'm pretty low key---I enjoy my downtime and am by nature a homebody.  This weekend, however, I accomplished a lot and probably spent less than 2 hours of non-sleep time at home.  A litany:

Friday Night:  Kyler's 6 p.m. softball game; Payten 7:30 p.m. soccer game.

Saturday:  Ryann's soccer game at 9 a.m.; Molly M's wedding at 10 a.m.; K's softball game (a rec tourny-that's why so many games) at 10:30, R's softball game at 10:45, R's softball game at 1:30, K's sball game at 4:45, K overnight to Ashley's, a graduation at 4 and Payten overnight to Kelsey's.  (OK, I cheated.  Payten covered the 9, 10, 10:30 and 10:45 games for me, but still getting a teen out of bed at that time on a Saturday is an accomplishment!)  Thank goodness our soccer and softball complexes share one park!

Sunday:  church 9:30, softball games at 11, 12:30, 2, 3:45 and 5.  Sounds like a movie schedule.  My blonde body is sunburned and I feel like a need a weekend to recover from my weekend!

Don't want sympathy....I loved almost every minute ('cept for having to dress up twice on Saturday).  I guess I just want to document why my house looks like a bunkhouse on a ranch!

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Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow. You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles. Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

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Your Geek Profile:

Fashion Geekiness: Moderate Academic Geekiness: Low Geekiness in Love: Low Internet Geekiness: Low SciFi Geekiness: Low Gamer Geekiness: None General Geekiness: None Movie Geekiness: None Music Geekiness: None

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The Part of You That No One Sees

You are passionate, romantic, and emotional. You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it. You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out. Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable. Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there. You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful.

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Thanks to you who are keeping Ryann in your thoughts and prayers.  The day did go really well.  Not one tear was shed.  Emla---miracle cream that numbs the skin so kids don't feel the IV going in at all.  The MRI (or big donut) WAS a big adventure that she slept through as she listened to the music of her choice.  I have only excellent things to say about the staff at Blank Children's Hospital particularly their Child Life Specialists.  Now we just have to wait 2 weeks to find out the results of everything.

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I've been doing a lot of thinking about the "victim mentality" lately.  It seems like perhaps this should be a mental health diagnosis in and of itself as I believe it is what lies behind most personality disorders and several mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, etc.

I am prone to this way of thinking and I came by it honestly.  My father is a professional victim.  He was horribly abused as a child and just never could overcome it.  Many of his siblings are professional victims as well.  I was too off and on until my mid 30's.  Therapy and Ray helped this immensely.  Probably growing up did a bit too.  I do know this change has to come from within which makes it difficult to help someone else.  Ryann is growing into a professional victim and it seems like there is nothing I can do to circumvent this for her.  She has had some crappy things happen.  Born exposed to high levels of cocaine, within 2 years followed by a pretty, bright and outgoing younger sister.  Learning disabilities and summer school and now medical stuff.  Her younger sister gets to go to a b-day party tonight.  Ryann gets to spend the day in outpatient infusion hooked to an iv trying to figure out how to stop the puberty pouncing on her at the age of 8.  This is where my frustration is coming out---not in front of her because it would be so easy to say 'poor girl' yada yada...and reinforcing the victim piece.   Instead I'm billing this as a day with mommy day---can't have breakfast?  we'll have lunch just the 2 of us at a place of your choice between the two tests.  An MRI is really just a big adventure.  That type of thing.   

Ry and Jaden found 2 baby bunnies yesterday.  Put them in a box on the front step for the night.  Jaden's is missing this a.m.  Ry's in there in good health.  Maybe there is some justice, huh?

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