A Journey Through Life...'s Blog

hi ho, hi ho, it's off to car-x i go......

The joy of owning 2 cars.  Took mine it a couple of days ago and today Payten's 2000 Ford Focus.  Hopefully just an oil change but w/108,000 miles, one never knows!

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has gotta be Skippy Snack Bars, specifically the peanut butter and fudge snack bars.  The package says that they are "granola bars in a peanut butter coating"---that's gotta be healthy, right?!?!?!  Anyway, I remember from my weight watchers time that 1 Skippy bar equals about a meal's worth of points, but hey, there's GRANOLA in 'em so they can't be all bad!  Today is a much calmer day than yesterday thus far but even so, I have a feeling that it's a 3-Skippy-Bar day today! 

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I promise.  This is sooooo interesting though.  As soon as I posted my last post, I googled J. Barry Griswell---cuz he's my new nemisis and all.  I found an interesting bio on him on the Horatio Alger website.  J. Barry is a kind-looking man with gentle eyes (I was expecting horns and fangs I think).  J Barry had an alcoholic dad, single mom who worked a bunch of jobs---basically the kind of guy I'd usually admire....and the kicker, his bio ended with the same bibical quote I ended my last post with!  ( I truly didn't look at his bio first).  J. Barry, I gotta tell you, giving to United Way just isn't enough when you make $16K a year.  If you are what you say you are you could revamp the whole health insurance business.  Get off the golf course and set an example.  Start the process of supplying adequate and fair health care to ALL AMERICANS!

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In my last entry (a few minutes ago) I spoke of being argued out.  Here's why.  (Oh goody, just now one of the cats barfed.  I TOLD YOU IT WAS A DAY).  Cat barf isn't the issue though.  Insurance companies are.

Principal Financial is, I'm pretty sure, the largest employer in Des Moines.  They are huge.  They operate a bank, investment office, property holdings, life insurance, health insurance companies.  There was an article in the paper a bit ago that talked about how their CEO earns $16 MILLION annually but still has tons of time to spend on the golf course.

Lucky me.  They are the health insurer for my agency.  Ryann needs to begin Lupron shots ASAP because even though she's 8 she has a bone age of 12, boobs, hair in all the wrong places for an 8 year old.  Dr. says she needs the shots.  Principal initially said 'no'.  Doc fought it.  They said 'yes'.  Today I call to get the details set up and they tell me my copay will only be $271 each month.   She has secondary insurance---Medicaid (b/c of her special needs) but Principal won't work w/Medicaid.  I ask Principal what do I do and they said, "you'll have to pay the copay".  Impossible I say.  Unethical when your CEO makes more money in a year than this prescription could cost in a lifetime (or at least for the next couple of years as long as she'll need it) I say.  Obviously this wasn't the first time this customer service dude had heard that b/c he said, "Yeah, I wish some of that trickled down".  Anyway, I then called Medicaid and they helped me work it out BUT it literally was a whole day on the phone doing this.  I AM thankful that I have health insurance that my employer foots the bulk of the premium cost of, health insurance that costs my employer and myself over $1000 per month for my family alone.  But it is this kind of injustice that makes me want to throttle someone:

*An exec who loves to golf earning $16K---no one, no celebrity, no sports star, no doctor, no CEO EARNS that much or is worth that much.  They are simply subsidized and very, very lucky.

*Said health insurance doesn't bat an eye at covering Levitra, Cialis and all those other drugs to benefit men but yet they quibble over a medication to help a little girl hold off on the trauma of monthly periods not to mention sexually looking like a 16 year old when she is 8. 

Health insurance, in my opinion, is a basic human right.  I know there are problems with socialized medicine but there are also huge problems when someone can get rich (and not just a couple hundred thousand/year rich but RICH) off the backs of the average middle class sort of person.  Where is the common sense in this?  I don't know if that CEO has any sort of religious base but to me this doesn't matter because even if he doesn't, how can he even begin to feel like a decent human being knowing there are people struggling to pay premiums, copays and overall medical bills when he alone, could probably pay all of these for about 100 people without even missing the money!?!?!  Kinda reminds me of the bibical story of the Tax Collectors.  J. Barry Griswell is, without a doubt, a modern day tax collector.  J. Barry (or can I just call you J?) remember, to whom much is given, much is expected.

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It has certainly been one.  It's been one of those days that I'm afraid to do anything else because every weird freaky thing that could go wrong, has. 

Jaden has an old hand me down bike that's about 12 years old and on it's last leg.  It's been well used by all 4 girls plus she's about ready to grow out of it so no huge deal but it was stolen off our front porch (she was too lazy to put it away) today.  It just feels so violating to have someone that close to our front door in broad daylight---our house is set back a long way from the street----and walk off w/a tiny pink bike!

Had some weird work issues go on.  Child protection stuff has all been taken over by a private agency in Iowa and the right hand isn't aware of what the left hand is doing---bottom line, 2 kids were placed last week in an unlicensed foster home---too long of story for here but anyway......a pretty scary thing ultimately.

Payten's boyfriend broke up w/her tonight so lots and lots of tears.  He's leaving for college next month so its sort of a prepatory break up but sad just the same.

Took my car in today for an oil change and for what I thought was a muffler rattle.  Oh no, no, no.  Mechanic says that something is loose in the motor.  It is still under the extended warranty (it's an '04) but the guy warns me that unless I show proof of regular oil changes Chrysler is usually a butt about it and won't pay.  I have gotten my last sev. oil changes at Car X and they gave me the print out of what they did but before that....I went anywhere I had a coupon....I can't even remember all of the places...Walmart and a bunch of others....it'll be an awful lot of work to try to trace where I've gotten it done to get the proof....Guess I'm just going to ignore the rattle a few more days until I have the fortitude to argue w/Chrysler because I'm argued out right now!

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I'm being sarcastic, of course.

Actually until about 4:30 p.m. Sunday it was a great weekend.  Ky's team took 1st place in the Waterloo tournament.  She pitched a no-hitter on Saturday and we just all had a lot of fun.  Til 4:30 Sunday.  Let me just say that sometimes my brain must shut down and let primal instinct take over 'cuz out of the blue, I kick into crazy soccer-mom (or softball I guess in this case) mode.

It was 90 + degrees, hot, windy and shadeless for our last game.  The girls were troopers and played well.  After the game they handed out the trophies and then, as usual, the girls and coaches lined up for pictures.  One of the girls was screwing around and the cute 34 year old coach who likely was also hot and tired of being on the shadeless field w/a bunch of preadolescent girls said to the girl that was screwing around, "Jeez, M******, are ya retarded?"  It was then that her whiney, holier than thou mother had a minor seizure, ran over to her husband and told him that he needed to handle this and essentially ran to the car bitching to other parents the whole way.  The dad then went to talk to the coach with the buck-toothed little brat standing right there.  Being the mature (cough, cough) mother I am, I followed her bitching to the parents about holier than thou parents who have no sense of humor---two crazy, heat battered moms.  What a picture!

Why did this upset me?  My reasonable mind has trouble with figuring that one out.  First of all, I talk alot about the cute coach, but he's a big boy and certainly was capable of handling the consequences of his words.  Moreso, I think it was because I hate hypersensitivity---first of all, we all know the guy.  Heck they were all drinking w/him the night before (one other mom and I were the only two completely sober by the end of the night).  He's glib.  Any parent with a brain would have known he didn't really mean it (she's just ugly, clearly not retarded).  I also hate women that rely on men to handle their stuff and  I'm just always a bit bugged by her pompous, know it all, perfect mom attitude.  But who knows, maybe it was just the heat.

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This is what I should be starting on now instead of milling around here.  The list isn't the longest it's ever been but for some reason, I'm daunted by it.  I leave with the 3 youngest kids (and a teammate) for Waterloo this p.m., the earlier the better b/c Kyler wants her social time with the team at the hotel.  Usually I love out of town tournaments and I'm sure I'll be fine once we are there but Payten leaves for camp Sunday so she's staying in DSM with a friend 'til she goes.  I always miss her when she's gone and leaving before her this time has me feeling off kilter.  My firstborn.  My sweet girl.  It was just her and I for so long that it feels like part of me is missing when we're apart.  I'm getting better at this because she's already so busy with her life but still.......

Registered the girls for the next school year a couple of days ago.  Gotta love "free" public education---$300 + later.   This past year I had 4 kids at 3 schools and because I don't have enough to do, next year I've decided that the 4 kids will be at 4 different schools.  Ryann and Jaden of course COULD be at the same magnet elementary school they've been attending but it has never been a good fit for me for lots of different reasons.  This far along, Ryann can't switch b/c socially it would be devastating but rather than put up with it for 5 more years, I've decided to switch Jaden to our neighborhood school for 1st grade and beyond.  I know that the change will be the best thing for her and hopefully Payten will be able to drop Kyler off at the middle school each day so really, it shouldn't be too bad.

I just realized another reason I'm probably feeling a bit off kilter is that it's been about 3 or 4 weeks since I've been to church b/c of softball.  Church is always so good at helping me re-center.  Sometimes I get frustrated with fellow church members because they tend to be alot more politically conservative than I and the focus sometimes seems to be on "traditional" families of mom, pop, 2.1 children, dog, white picket fence.....and I really don't fit that look but I do miss the obvious opportunity to connect spiritually with God...something I need to remember that I don't need to go to a church to do.

Anyway, boredom and I don't mix well and the list today is as boring as it gets.  Groceries, movie store for new movies for the trip, cleaning the car, cleaning the house 'cuz there's nothing worse than coming home to a dirty one, laundry.  Yay.

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There is something seriously wrong with me.  Something not related in any way to my grief and loss regarding a blogger on here.  Really, truly something wrong with me.

How does everyone else deal with boredom in their lives---the boredom that happens when things are stable and going pretty well---the boredom of being with one person for several years and just wondering, WONDERING what it would be like to be with someone else? Wanting to have the rush that I think everyone feels when they are first in love?  I don't want to trade my kids in but I'm so bored with Ray right now.  Not mad at him.  Not sad or hurt at something he's done but just bored.  Does anyone else ever feel like this and if so, what do you do?

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I'll be the first to admit that I have some loss and rejection issues. 

I am so sad that one of the few blogs I've tried to follow on a daily basis has just up and disappeared.  I hate this!!  I'll be honest, there are only a few blogs here that I read on a daily or almost daily basis.  Many of the others are telling me about ringworm, colitis, that kinda thing so I get really bummed when one that is worth reading disappears.  This happened before a couple of months ago. 

Makes me wonder---when are the rest of you (and you know who you are) up and leaving me here alone??  Maybe I just get attached too quickly or something but sheesh!!  It'll be me and the colitis people soon if this keeps up.

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I just read that they've found Kelsey Smith's body.  Kelsey was the 18 year old girl kidnapped from a Target parking lot a few days ago in suburban Kansas City.  My thoughts and prayers go out to her family. 

 These cases are always so sad but this one, in particular, has so touched me---possibly because Kelsey looks like a sweet, all-American girl who had so much potential.  Possibly because when we go on our twice yearly soccer trips to Overland Park we stay very close to that Target.  In fact, I've been there several times.  Possibly because Payten is just a couple of years younger and she goes to "our" Target here--alone sometimes.

John Kennedy once said that having a child is like giving a hostage to fate and I guess this proves that statement once again.  We can't very well hold on to them so tightly that they cannot grow up and become independent and certainly making one's own shopping decisions at Target is a step toward independence.  In addition to that, we just have to think back to Polly Klaas to see that there are times that we cannot keep them safe even when we think they are asleep under the same roof we are under. 

God bless all of the families who have lived through this sort of tragedy.

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OK, sure, I know it's tiny and the faces are blurry AND I know I've said I'd never put a picture of any of my kids on the 'net BUT I'm just soooo proud of Ky and her softball team that I had to!

Ky is in the middle of the back row and the cute coach is in the back on the left BUT of course, since the faces are blurry you can't enjoy the cuteness! Of either one, that is. 

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But a successful weekend it was.  Ky's team took home first place trophies for their division in softball.  She pitched a near perfect game and played 1st well.  (and I got to look at her cute 34 year old coach all weekend, does that make me a dirty old woman, I wonder?)

Payten started Thurs. night's regional soccer game---scored once and 2 assists---one more game tomorrow and then hopefully to the state tournament baby!!

Ryann played well (soccer) and Jaden, in T-ball, pounded it to the grass!

Back to reality tomorrow.  Schools out and summer care hasn't started yet AND I have a couple of meetings to go to so hopefully everyone won't kill each other. 

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