Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ISFP) |
 Your personality type is caring, peaceful, artistic, and calm. Only about 7% of all people have your personality, including 8% of all women and 6% of all men You are Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Perceiving. |
Your Lucky Underwear is Blue |
 You are caring and extroverted. You've made relationships your number one focus, and your lucky blue underwear can bring some balance to them. You thrive in one-on-one situations. You are a good listener and a natural born therapist. Sometimes you let the concerns of others become too important in your life, leading to stress and worry. If you want more balance, put on your blue underpants. They'll help you take care of yourself first. |
I'm like a blog stalker today. Or a blog addict. I just can't quit! Actually I'm sorta on vacation because I had some days to use up before May 1st, my anniversary at work. The house is fairly clean. Laundry's done. Just me and my 'puter.
I gotta share the story of Weird Ned. Thinking about Weird Ned reminds me that there are much worse things than not being married.
Jaden's babysitter (before she started school) was married to Weird Ned. Weird Ned, his wife and his children painted a picture of wholesomeness. In church almost every Sunday. Quite well behaved teen kids. Smart kids. House in the 'burbs. Staunch conservatives being very anti-abortion and very outspoken about the horridness of Bill Clinton's transgressions. Became terribly offended when I made a joke about being surprised that the sitter didn't take a day off when Ronald Reagan died, telling me what a great man he was, yada, yada.
Anyway, in early 2005 a co-worker and myself became concerned that someone we entrusted with kids was selling their services on the Internet. Specifically on a site called adultfriendfinder.com. We set up a dragnet. We were right on, catching him red handed (actually it was other red parts we caught), shut him down and life went on. Except for during this ordeal, I discovered Weird Ned trying to pick up women for sex. I had considered the sitter a friend of mine and was at a loss at what to do. Because we were still in the midst of catching another dude, I anonymously sent her proof of his exploits which he promptly blamed on the co-worker having had set him up as a joke. An expensive joke at $50 a pop for the top membership to the site. Weird Ned's wife preached at ME for being on such a site ('scuse me, but this kinda reminds me of Gingrich's pursuit of Clinton while he was doin the same thing). Fast forward to the fall of 2006. A coworker had some more concerns about someone she was working with. She had gone through my drama of "what to do about Weird Ned" the year before and immediately recognized his unique style of writing which was confirmed when he AGAIN sent a face shot directly to her (to add to the butt shot on the website). This time I called the wife directly. She had Weird Ned call me who again LIED through his teeth at the same time he was trying to see if I was really interested in a fling. As I've stated before, I'm not perfect but the thought of a fling with Weird Ned just grosses me out. He's kinda short, has a bald spot in the middle of his head and who knows what kinda diseases he's bringing around 'cuz he sure is working hard to meet someone to satisfy his needs. At the end, when I told him I didn't believe his lies, he called BEGGING me not to tell anyone at church and that he'd get help. Here we are 1/2 year later and I've heard that he is still trolling the sites but have no proof. Nor do I want any. I'm done. If Weird Ned's wife believes his crap, she is not the person I thought she was. As much as I don't agree with Republican politics, I'm frustrated that almost all of them have skeletons hidden in their closets. There have to be some decent ones out there, right? We Democrats, we're not perfect, but in general it seems like we do less to try to hide our transgressions.
You Are 6: The Loyalist |
You have strong relationships and are intensely loyal. People find you easy to love and care for. You like your world to be stable and secure, no surprises. You're cautious. You prefer your inner circle to the outside world. |
100 little things about Journey:
1. First Name: Pam
2. Last Name: K
3/4?. Place of Birth: Sioux Falls, SD
5. Male/Female: Female
6. Age: 43
7. Car: Chrysler Pacifica
8. School: Some work toward Master's in Social Work
9. Occupation: Social Work
10. Initials: PAK
11. Screen Name: Got a few
12. Hair Color: Dark Blond with Light Blond highlights
13. Hair Length: Above the shoulders
14. Eye Color: Depends on what I'm wearing--Blue/Green/Gray
15. Best Feature: Hmmm. Depends on who you'd ask.
16. Height: 5'9"
17. Braces: Never
18. Glasses: Yes
19. Shoe Size: 8
20: Diploma: Yes
22. First Best Friend: Linda
23. First Award: Honor Roll
24. First Sport Joined: None
25. First Thing Did Today: Got outta bed!
26. First Real Vacation: Black Hills of SD between 5th/6th Grade
27. First Thing Said Today: Good morning Sissy.
28. First Crush: Doug Bos
29. Movies: Rent, Matilda, Monster's Ball
30. TV Shows: MSNBC Documentaries, 48 Hours, Law & Order (Reg and SVU), Court TV
31. Color: Purple
32. Singer: Depends on the day---John Mellencamp, Eminem
33. Place to get Groceries: Hy-Vee but I really always hate getting groceries
34. Food: Lasagne
35. Season: Spring
36. Candy: Chocolate
37. Sport: Anything my kids are playing
38. Restaurant: Olive Garden/ El Aguila Real
39/40/41: School Subject: All social studies classes
42. My torti (cat)
43. Book: Whatever I'm reading at the time. Won't ever read any twice.
44. Magazine: People (shallow, I know)
45. Doing Before Started this survey: Checked email
46. Feeling: OK, tired of the rain
47. Wearing: Purple shirt, navy shorts
48. Cry About: Man's inhumanity to man
49: Eating: Nothing right now
50. Drinking: Hy-Vee peach melba water
51. Typing: Duh....what do you think?
52.53. Listening: Nothing really, me typing on the keyboard the neighbor hammering something on his house.
54. Thinking about: 100 or so questions is really too many but I don't wanna quit now.
55. Wanting: the sun to come out
56. Watching: Duh....this?
57. Where do I see myself in 5 years: Probably here...doing pretty much the same thing.
58. Kids: 2 biological 2 adoptive
59. Want to be Married: Sorta--depends on the day
60. Career in Mind: What I'm doing now.
Opposite Sex:
63. Hair color: Black or Brown
64. Hair Length: Short
65. Eye Color: Brown
66. Measurements: Uhh, I dunno. At least 6 I guess.
67. Cute or sexy: Either
68. Lips or eyes: Eyes
69. Hugs or kisses: Hugs
70: Short or tall: Tall
71. Easygoing or serious: A little bit of both
72. Romantic or spontaneous: Romantic
73. Good or bad: Good with a tiny edge
74. Sensitive or spontaneous: Sensitive
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship
Have I Ever????
78. Kissed a stranger: No
79. Had surgery: No
80. Gone commando: Briefly
81. Ran Away From Home: Noo, but I still want to sometimes
82. Broken a bone: Never
83. Got an xray: Yes
84. Been on a cruise: Nope
86. Dumped someone: Sorta
87. Cried when someone died: Yes
88. Cried at school: Yes
89. God: Absolutely
90. Miracles: Yes
91. Love at First Sight: No, more like lust at first sight
92. Ghosts: Yes
94. Soul Mates: Yes
95. Heaven: Yes
96. Hell: Yes
97. Answered Prayers: Yes
98. Kiss on first date: Sure
99. Horoscopes: No
100. Someone I wish I had: Yeah
One of my favorite speeches/stories/poems/odes is the Sunscreen one that until recently I thought was the work of the late Kurt Vonnegut. Turns out it was really written by a journalist, Mary Schmich who simply intended to write a funny article. In my eyes, however, it remains much more true than funny.....no matter who wrote it
"Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be the things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you'll have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a weathy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen."
Not only can I not successfully pick up the 2 main guys I was lusting after a few days ago but I can't even attract any attention on here with a "Sex" headline. Of course it didn't help that even though it appeared on my blog, it never made it to the "recent posts" column to our mutual left.
Actually I've pretty much gotten over the lusting part and now I'm like most other middle agish women---can live with it or without it....no need to go out seeking more. Its time consuming, kinda messy and sometimes disappointing.
Rain is the predominant theme here for the past couple of days. Softball and soccer games were cancelled last night. Today is one of those days where my recliner is calling---get a warm blankie and a book (Jane Addams is my current focal point) and veg for the late p.m. before the kids come home. I've pretty much done everything I need to do as far as work today, just have to make a couple of more phone calls, the house is fairly clean, laundry is caught up. Life is good.
I'm falling fast in the 'hot blogs' poll so I'm guessing that perhaps this title might boost my rank a bit. Really, though, that's not why I entitled this post "Sex" though. Perhaps a more appropriate title would be Soccer Moms Need Sex Too.
Sex. I really don't get enough of it and this has me thinking about it all the time. Not all the time because I can go weeks without missing it or thinking about it much at all but sporadically all the time. When it's in my brain its there and I'm imagining what it would be like with my daughter's high school principal, my other daughter's softball coach (even last year's coach who I worked with in the ballfield concession stand a couple of nights ago) and the same daughter's soccer coach who I've long been friends with and thus, get to actually touch and be touched by sometimes. Of course all of these guys are married and I even get along pretty good with most of their wives but still.
I truly love Ray and our relationship is fine but as he's gotten older, the sex has become very occasional and not the earthshattering experience that it once was. It's also been like a decade since I've even been with anyone else and I'm just wondering what I'm missing out on. I'm really not a whore although this post sounds like I am. I am a 40-something (isn't that when women are supposed to be at their peak?) soccer mom who goes to church and tries to model appropriate behavior for my kids, particularly the oldest with whom I've talked alot lately about the virtues of waiting until you know it's "THE ONE" who you'll be with for the rest of your life. I really tried to do that but it obviously didn't work out so well for me.
I know guys often feel like this which is why I'm wondering how I can communicate my semi-availability to those previously mentioned b/c I'm guessing most would be open to a fling as long as it didn't mess up their marriage, etc. I'm also wondering if other women get as bored as I do with one partner, especially when he's quite a bit older. Or am I just weird that way?
Took a break from Shoutpost......I think because I got tired of writing about my life because it doesn't really seem so boring until I read about it. I figure maybe if I journal here less there'll be more to write about when I do. 'Cept I still don't really have too much to write about.
Yesterday was a yuck day. First of all, it snlushed all day. What is snlush, you say? It's basically immobile rain that comes from the sky as snow, melts when it hits the ground but remains too frozen to flow anywhere but not frozen enough to blow or even be shoveled away like snow. Thus, snlush. I swear there was about an even foot of it spread across the parking lot---not a pleasant feeling on one's footsies!
Then I lost (or actually misfiled I think) a fairly important work document. Then one of my clients, a little 7 year old, had a psychotic break of sorts and is inpatient in a psych ward with totally fed up parents on the verge of a divorce.
Then there's my kids. The 15 year old wants to have sex. The 11 year old is a bully to her younger sister, the 8 year old has issues and the 6 year old is a spoiled brat. So hard with the 15 year old when everything in me wants to scream out......NO, YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO HAVE SEX!!! knowing that to do so would likely close down communication. She's a smart girl so I'm using the rational approach----STD's, pregnancy, ruined future, can't do anything 'til your on the pill etc.....
Before I was always thrilled when my kids moved from one stage to another. Now, I just want them to stop. I don't want 3 teenagers and 1 adult child in a few years. I don't want them not to need me. As it is, the only thing Payten seems to need me for already is money. Lotsa lotsa money.
This self-imposed drama I've created about them growing up got me thinking about adopting again. I read "There is No Me Without You" over the weekend and how anyone can read that and not want to adopt a kid from Ethiopia, I don't know. And then Payten said she and her boyfriend wanted to have sex and then I snapped to my senses and realized that even kids from Ethiopia will be teenagers who want to have sex someday. I'm already stuck with going through that 4 times. I don't think I have it in me for a 5th.
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