Life Since Aug 13
It's been over a month...I've missed my daily visits but it seems like the Shoutpost neighborhood is changing a bit...some of the "regulars" are gone and to be fair I haven't taken the time to get to know some of the others but it also seems like it is getting to be more of a marketing site (for both views and products) and/or health condition site.
That said, I do miss it.
A lot has happened in the last month and a half. In some ways at least. The kids are back at school. Payten got into some serious trouble by letting a kid w/pot in her car and then taking a couple of puffs herself---she immediately felt guilty and came home and told leaving me with the quandry of a) do I consequence so she realizes the seriousness of this error or b)take it easy b/c she told? I chose option a. I marched her and the friend who was with her to the school which led to a 3 day suspension and suspension from playing in 1 basketball game and she only just now has gotten her car and phone back. She is doing better though and has said she wants me to be strict w/her because she knows (likely from hearing me go on and on over the last 16 years) where drugs and alcohol will lead her. Her grades remain A's and B's and she is working hard to gain some new friendships, hoping that there are at least a few out there who don't drink/use drugs.
Kyler is a solid C student in middle school and just fine w/it. Very smart and very unmotivated unless it has to do with softball or dogs. Ryann is a solid D student in 4th grade. Poor kid......she wants to do well but we've had no success in finding out just what her learning disabilities are. Jaden. Smart as a whip. No problem with doing her stuff quickly and very well but then she's out of her seat trying to "help" the other kids to the chagrin of the teacher. She has a great teacher though so we're trying to work through this together.
And then there's the coach. As you can probably tell from previous posts, Ray's and my relationship has just kinda gone flat. He is a wonderful guy and a good friend but the sexual piece of what we once had is gone. Part of it are some of the meds he's on for high blood pressure and stuff and part of it is both of us being extremely independent to the point where our lives have just gotten really separate from one another. We still get together and do stuff w/Jaden and often have lunch together but it, at this point, is really not much different than the relationship I have w/ close female friends. I am far from a nymphomaniac but there is a big part of me that needs a physical relationship---not necessarily the sex (although that's OK) but at least some attraction, kissing, hugging etc. The cute 34 year old coach I've spoken of before and his wife separated a couple of months ago and since that time we've just been finding more and more reason to talk, cross paths and generally platonic stuff like that. I know a part of it is that I'm THRILLED someone 9 years younger than me finds me fun to be with (GO Demi Moore!) and at least somewhat attractive but I also have just really gotten to like him as a person. He's had an interesting life (short as it may have been!) and has done a lot for my daughter. He also has the sweetest smile. Anyway, we've not really crossed any lines that I'd not want to talk to Ray about but it certainly seems to be heading in that direction. All of this makes me feel like such a hussy but still..............
Signed,
Confused
