1969 - 1970
Kindergarten. As close (enmeshed) I was to my mom, it was a bit hard to begin school. Once there though I discovered a love of learning. I also thrived with the structure and stimulation that was part of the educational environment. Unfortunately I had few social skills at that time. The 5 years I spent growing up on the first farm were spent primarily in isolation. I occasionally played with a couple of cousins who were very close in age and I began Sunday School around this time as well but otherwise it was pretty much me and my mom. Dad was there too but I remember avoiding him as much as possible. I was a tender spirit who did not deal well with his teasing and his "children should be seen and not heard" responses when I attempted any sort of comeback. I was and probably still am a pleaser. He was virtually impossible to please. Other kids would have probably let this roll off their backs but at the time, I was unable to do this.
Overall, school brought more positives than negatives. I naturally picked up on things quite easily and did well academically. I recall being the one of the only kids in my class that could count to 100 at one point in the Kdg. year. I blossomed with praise I received from teachers. Mrs. P*****e* was my Kdg. teacher. She and I hit it off quite well. I remember getting in trouble once (I truly don't remember what I did) and was crushed when she told me to stop whatever it was that I was doing.
This was the year we took an airplane to Denver to visit my dad's sister. I remember very little about the trip. Sitting on the plane, my head in my mom's lap. Sitting in the bedroom of my aunt's house. Lots of adult conversation that I did not understand. I do remember coming back and having Mrs. P*****e* have me tell the class about the trip, the airplane ride and looking at Denver on the map. I didn't realise it at the time, but my dad loved his sister. She was the oldest and likely took over after his mom died. She had many, many problems, however and ended up commiting suicide a year or two after we last visited her (I had been to Denver when I was 2 also but don't remember that trip at all). The family blames only her husband, who definitely sounds like he was a jerk. What they don't acknowledge is that she was also still dealing with stuff from when she was young. Stuff that prevented her from leaving the jerk and starting a better life for herself. It is this aunt's daughter (who was 14 or 15 when we last visited) that I have become somewhat close to in adulthood. I don't think she hung around the house much during our visit when I was 5 though. Jenny, my cousin, deals with many of the same "demons" the others have battled, namely depression, but like myself, she has educated herself about it and does as much as she can to help herself find a sense of peace. She's smart...a thinker...and very interesting to visit with. I would like to take my dad, one more time, to the west coast to visit Jenny. Traveling with him though, is a major endeavor. Imagine traveling with a grumpy, somewhat anti-social teen who is dealing with all the aches and pains of old age. That's what it is like to take a 'vacation' with my dad. I love him lots more when we are not stuck together (with my 4 kids including a 'real' teen) in a plane/hotel/my cousin's trailer. This is why we haven't visited Jenny since 2000.
