Victim Mentality
I've been doing a lot of thinking about the "victim mentality" lately. It seems like perhaps this should be a mental health diagnosis in and of itself as I believe it is what lies behind most personality disorders and several mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, etc.
I am prone to this way of thinking and I came by it honestly. My father is a professional victim. He was horribly abused as a child and just never could overcome it. Many of his siblings are professional victims as well. I was too off and on until my mid 30's. Therapy and Ray helped this immensely. Probably growing up did a bit too. I do know this change has to come from within which makes it difficult to help someone else. Ryann is growing into a professional victim and it seems like there is nothing I can do to circumvent this for her. She has had some crappy things happen. Born exposed to high levels of cocaine, within 2 years followed by a pretty, bright and outgoing younger sister. Learning disabilities and summer school and now medical stuff. Her younger sister gets to go to a b-day party tonight. Ryann gets to spend the day in outpatient infusion hooked to an iv trying to figure out how to stop the puberty pouncing on her at the age of 8. This is where my frustration is coming out---not in front of her because it would be so easy to say 'poor girl' yada yada...and reinforcing the victim piece. Instead I'm billing this as a day with mommy day---can't have breakfast? we'll have lunch just the 2 of us at a place of your choice between the two tests. An MRI is really just a big adventure. That type of thing.
Ry and Jaden found 2 baby bunnies yesterday. Put them in a box on the front step for the night. Jaden's is missing this a.m. Ry's in there in good health. Maybe there is some justice, huh?
